do you think you match other people? or are you usually the one who is being matched? do you notice either way? in your relationships, who determines the atmosphere of things?

i find that i very much match people. i match people's moods. i try meet people where they need to be met. i match their levels of investment. if someone puts a lot into a relationship, so will i. if they don't, that's okay, but i can't bring myself to either (which, i guess is true of most people, but still). i wish i could just be less sad about such things. i also wish i could be matched more often. i think i just shows care and nurturing and protection and .. an understanding & awareness of the other person's current state and needs. and, i have a special place in my heart of initiators. for people who write to you just because they're thinking about you. not even when people do that for me .. but, when i see it happening in general. people get so wrapped up in who's right in front of them, that they often forget about who isn't. can't we just focus on what the non here-and-now from time to time? is it so hard to remember that there's more to life than the current moment?

i think i'm feeling venty. [and, now i'm resisting making a lame joke about a 'venti' starbucks drink.. agh...]